I’ve been doing a lot of tracking of my life lately, observing stepping stones and turning points over the decades. I started to think of all the ‘what ifs’ had I made another decision on various steps in my life, where would I be now?
This time, it revolved around my intermittent (or more like spasmodic) college journey; attending night classes whenever I had the money, not choosing a major at first, but then switching later.
Then I remember my friend Lora who I lost track of about 20 years ago. We were just out of high school, having gone to different schools, attending personal growth workshops in the evenings, and sharing rides. Our relationship centered around casual conversations about the new David Bowie album, our life’s perspectives, and if there’s life on other planets (in case we ran out of topics) We grew close and eventually built a bond.
After about a year, she was off to college, to major in psychology. Cool. I hoped to eventually go that direction, too. The university was 2 hours away, so once or twice during the school year, I went to visit her on a weekend once she lived off-campus.
Toward the end of her sophomore year, she discovered that she had received the wrong course information to major in experimental psychology and work in psychoanalysis as she wanted. We had long talks as I listened and supported her, one Friday night, in particular, we weighed over her frustration while sitting in the park in mid-May. She would either have to repeat a year, tracking back courses she missed, or change to a major that fit the courses she had so far. She didn’t want to use more of her parents’ money.
She ended up going toward the social work direction, which, after graduation revealed that it would be a life of visiting homes of severe welfare cases such as drug addicts which left her depleted and frustrated about her future. I know now that we have to follow what lights us up to stay on our soul path and feel successful and self-actualized.
I learned from her experience and floated around taking courses I liked when I had time, or not at all. I didn’t want to waste my money or borrow money from my parents to pursue a degree that I may not want 4 years later.
I also developed some limiting beliefs through this:
You probably won’t get to do what you really want in life.
You will have to compromise with what you choose for a livelihood.
Life sucks. (I just made this one up)
You won’t make it anywhere in life without the right degree.
With all of that, I made what I believed were some huge mistakes on my career path – well, I never really had a career path. I shuffled through life, hoping to get somewhere eventually, but not having much faith in getting ahead. There were also oodles of limiting beliefs I inherited from my parents.
But now, looking back, it wasn’t that bad. In fact, just a couple of years ago, I realized that I am exactly where I need to be; and that not getting a major was not a mistake after all.
I would have spent all my time preparing for possibly a career that wouldn’t fit me – as Lora did. I would have possibly committed myself to an inappropriate career for myself and might be still stuck in it. I might have made more money over the last three decades, but not necessarily happy doing the thing that earned it.
In the big scope of things, the journey I made led me to where I am now, and most of the steps along the way were instrumental in my journey – even the screw-ups.
More than anything, I learned how to help others go back and see their lives as an intricate stone path guiding them exactly where they need to be. In that journey, we can pull up little gems that complete the package of their perfect life.
You didn’t screw up. Your intuition is leading you to exactly where you need to be. Once you go back and pull out the gems, retrace all those magical moments (even the ones that don’t seem magical right now), and put it all together, it will shine so clearly.
I will talk more about this, but if you want to know more now, you can schedule a chat with me here.
This time, it revolved around my intermittent (or more like spasmodic) college journey; attending night classes whenever I had the money, not choosing a major at first, but then switching later.
Then I remember my friend Lora who I lost track of about 20 years ago. We were just out of high school, having gone to different schools, attending personal growth workshops in the evenings, and sharing rides. Our relationship centered around casual conversations about the new David Bowie album, our life’s perspectives, and if there’s life on other planets (in case we ran out of topics) We grew close and eventually built a bond.
After about a year, she was off to college, to major in psychology. Cool. I hoped to eventually go that direction, too. The university was 2 hours away, so once or twice during the school year, I went to visit her on a weekend once she lived off-campus.
Toward the end of her sophomore year, she discovered that she had received the wrong course information to major in experimental psychology and work in psychoanalysis as she wanted. We had long talks as I listened and supported her, one Friday night, in particular, we weighed over her frustration while sitting in the park in mid-May. She would either have to repeat a year, tracking back courses she missed, or change to a major that fit the courses she had so far. She didn’t want to use more of her parents’ money.
She ended up going toward the social work direction, which, after graduation revealed that it would be a life of visiting homes of severe welfare cases such as drug addicts which left her depleted and frustrated about her future. I know now that we have to follow what lights us up to stay on our soul path and feel successful and self-actualized.
I learned from her experience and floated around taking courses I liked when I had time, or not at all. I didn’t want to waste my money or borrow money from my parents to pursue a degree that I may not want 4 years later.
I also developed some limiting beliefs through this:
You probably won’t get to do what you really want in life.
You will have to compromise with what you choose for a livelihood.
Life sucks. (I just made this one up)
You won’t make it anywhere in life without the right degree.
With all of that, I made what I believed were some huge mistakes on my career path – well, I never really had a career path. I shuffled through life, hoping to get somewhere eventually, but not having much faith in getting ahead. There were also oodles of limiting beliefs I inherited from my parents.
But now, looking back, it wasn’t that bad. In fact, just a couple of years ago, I realized that I am exactly where I need to be; and that not getting a major was not a mistake after all.
I would have spent all my time preparing for possibly a career that wouldn’t fit me – as Lora did. I would have possibly committed myself to an inappropriate career for myself and might be still stuck in it. I might have made more money over the last three decades, but not necessarily happy doing the thing that earned it.
In the big scope of things, the journey I made led me to where I am now, and most of the steps along the way were instrumental in my journey – even the screw-ups.
More than anything, I learned how to help others go back and see their lives as an intricate stone path guiding them exactly where they need to be. In that journey, we can pull up little gems that complete the package of their perfect life.
You didn’t screw up. Your intuition is leading you to exactly where you need to be. Once you go back and pull out the gems, retrace all those magical moments (even the ones that don’t seem magical right now), and put it all together, it will shine so clearly.
I will talk more about this, but if you want to know more now, you can schedule a chat with me here.
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